Sowing Seeds of Change

With all the turmoil of the current environment- from differing views on the seriousness of coronavirus, to our political views to the anti-racist movement- I feel stuck.

I want to generate positive movement, yet I feel ill equipped on how to get started. I want to encourage and engender a world where all are respected and treated equally and fairly, yet how can I do so when I am not perfect myself? In a world where you can be “cancelled” for making a mistake, where does the imperfect approach to learning and growth belong?

As I ponder this I think back to an experience I had early on in my relationship with my step-children. I learned early on that step-mothers have a delicate dance to choreograph- like a pseudo-parent - an aunt, cool adult, and an older cousin all in one.

Regardless, I quickly discovered that none of those titles gave me permission to tell them what to do or even to give advice. At least any advice that was going to be listened to. And in the spirit of not wasting my time, I avoided it at all cost. But how was I still going to be able to influence and give them the only advantage that age gives you- experience and learning?

What I have learned over the years is that by speaking broadly about experiences and ideas I’ve personally had- sowing seeds is what I’ve come to think of it- I have been able to make generous offerings without forcing my beliefs on other people.

Doing this makes it easier to share my thoughts without committing to my opinion and shows that I am open to other ideas. It opens up an exchange where both people can dialogue, wonder, and hear different backgrounds.

In your next tough conversation with a coworker, friend, or peer try to focus on creating that opening, a placement of an idea, a nurturing contribution made of love. Don’t work to change their opinions - just drop it. Then wait to see if their idea shifts based on your shared experiences. Do they begin to wonder more? Seek more information based on that wonder?

What do you think? Would sowing the seeds enable the much needed dialogue to move us back to the middle again?