Feedback is a gift (but you don’t really have to take it)

We’ve all been through that dreaded moment when someone was giving us feedback. The moment that kicked us in the gut. Punched us in the face. Plummeted our self-worth to the ground.

Feedback is a gift, certainly, but it often feels more like opening a disappointing present from a department store that you will never use and forget about all-together.

Feedback is perception, and yes, perception is reality to the person it belongs to, but sometimes we can put too much stock into a particular perception. We can derail our forward momentum if we pay too much attention to an individual’s feedback and not enough to the collective.

When I worked in finance supporting a business group, I got to really know them, work with them, learn what they cared about and what their business goals were. I nurtured relationships, grew with them, and challenged them, and we achieved goals together. However, the style that I employed, which made me very successful with my business partners, was not understood or appreciated by my manager. I was given feedback that I needed to use his methods of escalation vs partnership. He said I would be more successful using his tactics.

I chose to ignore his feedback because it didn’t align with my values. And though I may have been more successful, when measuring success by recognition and money, I would have been less successful in my relationships every day.