If the Voice in Your Head was a Girlfriend, You’d Totally Break Up With Her.

Take a moment to listen to your inner monologue.

Does it sound supportive? Always pumping you up for the next awesome thing you are going to do? You go girl!

Or does it sound defeatist, reminding you of the mistakes you’ve made in the last day, or worse, making you question the decisions you have made? It usually sounds something like this - 'I was probably really annoying in that workshop today. How did they even put up with it?'

Susie Cranston, the writer of “How Remarkable Women Lead” (which you should go read right now), is super relatable when it comes to talking about her inner monologue.

Boy, that was a bad presentation...

It was so bad I’ll probably get a bad review...

And a bad review will make them rethink hiring me and they’ll fire me...

And the economy is bad so I won’t be able to find another job...

And then I won’t be able to make my house payment so I’ll lose the house...

I’ll probably get so depressed that I’ll turn to drugs and alcohol...

And I’m not good at drugs and alcohol so I’ll probably overdose...

And I’ll end up dead on the bathroom floor somewhere.

When you make a mistake do you usually overthink it so much that you also end up “dead on the bathroom floor”?

If you had a friend who said those same things to you would you put up with it? Me neither. In

in fact, as your friend, I would tell you to break up with her!

The good news? You can change how you talk to yourself.

When mistakes happen, try thinking:

Did I make this happen? Did I do your very best? If I didn’t, did I learn something from it? If

I did my very best, were there circumstances beyond my control that affected the outcome?

How long are those effects likely to last? Can I control them? Can I apply something I

learned in the process to the next problem?

You will start seeing a positive change in how you perceive your decisions when you become more aware of the surrounding circumstances, which will help you stop yourself from going down a black hole of over analyzing the little mistakes.

When good things happen, remember to ask yourself:

Did I give myself credit? Did I learn from it? Did I take the time to celebrate it? Can I fold this into the next problem I’m trying to solve?

Celebrating your wins and learning from them is equally as important as learning from your mistakes. We often default to only harping on the negative details because they sometimes feel more “honest”.

But honesty that prevents you from accomplishing great things isn’t honesty..

It’s wrong.